What is a Need To Know Parent?

The Need To Know Parent philosophy came from the successful book, The New Parents' Guide to Surviving The First Eight Weeks. The idea is that you don't need to know everything that could happen. You only need to know what you need to know when you need to know it.

Need-to-know parenting means trusting that you're incredible at figuring things out when problems actually arise. It means recognizing that the internet exists, Amazon ships fast, and your baby will tell you what they need. Most of what you're worrying about won't happen. And if something unexpected does happen, pre-worrying wouldn't have prevented it anyway.

Early into motherhood, I shared this philosophy with a friend. I was feeling guilty for not approaching parenthood with my typical girl-scout level of preparedness. I asked her, "Do you think this makes me a bad mom? Or at least an unprepared mom?"

This friend had her baby unexpectedly at 28 weeks. She spent significant time in the NICU with her son after he was born. Surely, she wouldn't agree with this philosophy.

But instead, she said something that has stuck with me: "Why worry twice? Things can always go wrong, but worrying now won't stop the future from happening. Sometimes being a little naive as a parent gives you permission to enjoy the present rather than constantly catastrophizing the future."

And that's really it. Being a need-to-know parent allows you to stay in the present moment with your child.